Selftest: heartache
1 = strongly agree, 3 = strongly disagree
- 1. Emotional signals:
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2
3
- I’m constantly thinking about him/her. My thoughts are always with him/her.
- There are problems in my relationship, but at the moment I can only think of the good things.
- I couldn’t imagine never seeing him/her again. I don’t like the thought of that.
- I’m constantly thinking of ways we could get back together.
- Only by wishing that it’s not really true, makes me feel better.
- The separation is a shock. I can’t imagine ever recovering from it.
- I just can’t go to work/school today. I don’t want to see anybody.
- Sometimes I feel really wound up – then really depressed. I’m not myself.
- 2. Unconscious signals:
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2
3
- When I heard about the separation, I felt a stab in my heart.
- I’m sweating, but I don’t feel cold. I keep getting chills.
- I feel ill. Like I’ve got flu. Perhaps I have a fever.
- My whole body hurts. I ache all over.
- My muscles (especially my shoulders) feel tense – it’s as if something is weighing me down.
- I wake up in the night, think about things, and then can’t get back to sleep.
- 3. The thought of not seeing him/her again ...
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3
- ... gives me a tight feeling in my heart/chest.
- ... makes my heart beat faster and I can feel my heartbeat
- … makes me feel sick to my stomach.
- … gives me a feeling of anxiety and panic.
- … blocks my thoughts. I feel dizzy and unable to think.
- … makes me want to call him/her, write, or visit. Just like old times.
- … makes me feel so lost and down.
- 4. To make myself feel better I will....
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3
- ... find someone new immediately.
- … use my newfound independence for one-night stands.
- … take refuge in sports or work.
- … drown my sorrows in drink.
- … give myself plenty of ‘me’ time and rest.
- … get back at him/her, so he/she understands how much I am suffering.